a) If you ever want to do a showreel, make sure you invest in something which produces a little bit more of a quality product. If not, this is fine, but be aware that it does hamper the overall presentation.
b) You start with a crack about the day being crap, without even introducing yourself or the programme which you're presenting, nor any form of hypothetical time. Make sure we know who you are, what we're watching and when we're watching it - particularly on a time-conscious programme like GMTV
c) Your voice is de-energised, and at times it seems like you're whispering. You're not on radio! You have a grasp of what you've written but the volume issue in your voice means we think you sound unsure about the subject. Think about using more support from below your diaphragm to give your voice the resonance you need
d) Your pronunciation is an issue - 'th' sounds becoming 'f' or 'v' sounds. You're not doing kids' TV - and I know it's GMTV but still, your diction needs to be better. Work on that
e) Again if you ever do a showreel, smarten up for it (shave/shirt etc)
f) This may get me into trouble - but your stance towards the end on the sofa is very 'gay' - when presenting news about British Forces, your position should be far more authoritative. Usually sat up straight with legs firmly planted on the ground. I appreciate it might be a low sofa, but now you know why the ones on telly are so uncomfortable. That stance will also help with your breathing
It shows promise ,but there's lots for you to work on. Good luck!